My father and I are very different people from each other. Name any hot topic: religion, politics, gun control, immigration, and I can pretty much guarantee that we will be on the opposite side of that conversation. Love keeps us from yelling. The topic comes up, the lines are drawn, looks are exchanged and we quietly retreat to our corners to stew until the next thing comes up. We do have lots of things in common, we both think we are funny and smart, we both really love my mom and our family, and possibly most important to our relationship we both love and obsess about food. We find commonality in talking about how to make something. Sometimes he is asking how to do something and sometimes he is sharing his new recipe.
When I was young we ate out very rarely. It was a big deal. The options for dining out in Dawson City, Yukon are limited. We would go for pie more often than dinner. However when we would go out, I was inevitably drawn to the most expensive thing on the menu. My mom, being practical would exclaim "She will never be able to eat all that, it will go to waste". Dad would always reply "Let her have whatever she wants" I of course could never finish, but the feeling of food being special, extravagant and a way to show love was firstly shown to me by my Dad.
When I was much older, going through a painful separation and starting a new career as a cook, my Dad at the same time was changing careers. He had been through quite a few already; college student, naval officer in the Vietnam war, long distance driver for explosive goods, mover, tile installer, heavy duty machinery operator, back to university, heavy duty machine mechanic, construction contractor. The man could do pretty much anything. He wanted to try his hand at mining. This was and is a risky business. There is no guarantee of success. He called me and asked me what I thought. From his perspective, he was being respectful and asking my opinion on his next move. I was devastated. I was in a very fragile place myself at the time and my strongest person was asking me if I thought he was making a good decision. I did come out of that experience a much stronger person. I was able to look at my Dad as a human, not some infallible demi god. Not so much later, I decided to get a tattoo and of course it being the 90's it took the form of a celtic knot. I surrounded the knot with rays of the sun. My thinking was that I was reclaiming my life, making my own choices, and... paying homage to my Dad. In astrology, the Sun signifies father. It represents "Individuality " and "the energy". I remember the evening after I got my tattoo. My back was all wrapped in saran wrap, itching like crazy. I was working an insane night service, fully booked, food flying through my hands and landing on plates. The service finally ended as they always do. I was enjoying my icy cold rum and coke, with extra lime please. I stepped outside, sat on the ever present milk crate and toasted my Dad on his new venture, and to both of us making our 'own choices'.
Recently my Dad had a stroke. I did not handle it well. My brother and sister went to visit him in the hospital pretty much as soon as it happened. I spoke to him on the phone several times a day and told him and myself that I wasn't going to do him any good to visit in the hospital, I would visit as soon as he went home. In reality I was in panic mode. What would I do? How would everything go on if that weird old man wasn't okay? I did go and visit when he came home from the hospital and was able to pacify myself with his speedy recovery and good humour; but I knew that I did not do exactly what I wished I had. I took him out for lunch and he made me laugh the whole time. He was just grateful that I was there with him.
Did I mention Dads obsession with food. He gets something into his head, a recipe or food item and it will not leave until he is able to exorcise it (eat it). The oyster stew that must be made every New Years Eve without fail. Every year we all run around trying to find canned oysters. Those things are getting hard to find. Fresh or shucked in their juice will not do, must be canned. Only my Dad and sometimes my sister enjoy this dish with relish. Prime rib is a constant loop running in his head. Fresh salsa and this really good gazpacho he makes are around all summer. One of the first things he did when he got home from the hospital recently was gather all his ingredients he needed to make his gazpacho and laboriously chopped for hours, proving he still could to us and himself. Some of his obsessions come by way of watching food shows. He will see a dish, mention it to me and then slowly, insiduously figure out a way to make it happen, enjoy it and then move on to the next one. I totally enable this of course. I catalogue his comments and then the next time I see him, 'BOOM'. This is my way of showing him love too. The latest comment was about seafood chowder. He was not totally clear on whether he was feeling a Manhatton Chowder (tomato based), New England Chowder (Cream based) or a Cioppino (saffron). His comment got me obsessing as well. I love a good Cioppino.
As it happens I was menu planning for a week trip we took over the Christmas holidays. We were going with good friends to Lasqueti Island to relax and unwind totally off the grid. My friend Noel suggested one of the meals be a seafood chowder using some ingredients we could forage right on the beach near our cabin. We gathered clams and mussels on the beach and the next day, after letting the little critters sit and clean themselves from all the sand they had been ingesting, we had a great Cioppino. Done and Done, itch satiated and a great meal with friends.
I did drop off the leftover soup at my parents on the way home from our cabin getaway, but I feel I will have to do better than that. I will have to make a spectacular seafood Cioppino for my Dad next time I see him. Perhaps we can sit and talk about all the things we have in common.
Chesapeake Bay Cioppino:
serves 6
4 large blue crabs
1 lbs manila clams
1 white fish, snapper or halibut (cubed)
2lbs mussels
salmon (cubed)
1 onion small dice
4 ribs celery small dice
1 fennel bulb small dice
8 garlic cloves minced
1/2 bunch each oregano and parsley, chiffonaded
1/2 bottle white wine
1 quart tomato sauce
2 cans of clam nectar
*Steam crabs for 10-15 min. Clean and set aside
In a large pot, sweat onion, celery and fennel until soft
Add garlic and herbs and cook about 5 minutes
Add wine to deglaze pot. Simmer until wine is almost gone.
Add tomato sauce and bring to a simmer. Add clam nectar.
To finish cioppino, add clams to hot soup and wait 5 minutes. Add mussels and cook 5 minutes, Add fish, bring to boil and let simmer for approx 5 minutes. Gently fold everything together, taking care to not flake the fish apart.
Place servings of the crab in large soup bowls and ladle the hot soup over top. Serve with crostini and saffron rouille smeared generously on top.
Garlic and Saffron Mayonnaise (Rouille)
2 cloves of garlic
kosher salt
1 egg yolk
1 tsp lemon juice
1/2 tsp saffron threads, soaked in 1 Tbs hot water
1 tsp fine breadcrumbs
cayenne pepper
black pepper, fresh ground
1 cup olive oil
Finely chop the garlic. Sprinkle a pinch of salt over the garlic and continue chopping and smashing it with the side of your knife to form a coarse paste. Transfer paste to a medium mixing bowl. Add the egg yolk, lemon juice, saffron, and its soaking water, breadcrumbs and a pinch of cayenne and black pepper. Whisk to combine. Continue whisking while adding the olive oil in a slow steady stream. When the oil is added the mixture should be the consistency of mayonnaise.
sounds good....
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